Helping Your Child Stick With a New Habit

Helping Your Child Stick With a New Habit

When a child starts something new (swimming lessons, guitar classes, a sport), the first few weeks are all excitement. Then the novelty fades, progress slows… and suddenly they don’t want to go anymore.

For parents, it feels like their child gives up too easily. But this stage is an important part of learning something new. “They haven’t done it before, they don’t know anyone, and they might feel silly or behind,” says Psychotherapist Linda Breathnach.

“Children need to hear that they’re not supposed to know everything right away. That’s what learning is — making mistakes, getting uncomfortable, and trying again.”

Dr. Ray O’Neill, assistant professor of psychotherapy at Dublin City University, says both children and parents often underestimate that discomfort. “When things get tough, many think that means they’ve failed. But struggle is built into learning,” he explains.

He adds that grit comes from staying with something even when it stops being fun. “If we let them switch hobbies every time it gets hard, they never build the persistence real growth needs.”

According to Breathnach, one of the best ways parents can help is by normalizing mistakes. “Say things like, ‘The more shots you take, the more chance you have of scoring.’ Help them see mistakes as part of the process, not proof they can’t do it.”

It also helps to keep the routine steady. “If you skip one week of practice, it sends the message that commitment is optional,” she says. “Consistency — same day, same routine — matters most in the beginning, when motivation wobbles.”

And when your child feels embarrassed or anxious, don’t dismiss it. “Say, ‘Of course you’re nervous — that’s normal when you’re new.’ The goal isn’t to remove the discomfort, but to help them see they can handle it.”

Of course, sometimes letting go is the right call. Breathnach adds that a mismatch with a coach, lack of enjoyment, or unresolved bullying are valid reasons to move on. “If you do switch, frame it as learning,” she says. “What did you discover about yourself? What will you try differently next time?”