the bystander effect

Note: This message briefly mentions a real-life incident involving violence.

In 1964, a woman named Kitty Genovese was murdered outside her apartment in New York.

Dozens of neighbors reportedly heard her screams, but no one intervened.

For years, this case was studied as a chilling example of what psychologists would later call the bystander effect—the tendency of people to not help someone in distress when other people are present.

At first glance, it makes no sense.

You’d expect that more people means a higher chance someone would step in. But in reality, it’s often the opposite.

When responsibility is shared across a crowd, it becomes easy for each person to quietly assume that someone else will do something. So no one does.

Now, while most of us may never witness something as extreme as a public assault, the bystander effect shows up in smaller ways too.

A colleague being blamed for a mistake they didn't make. A shy friend being left out of conversations or decisions. A neighbor being treated differently because of the color of their skin.

In these moments, it’s easy to think you shouldn’t overstep. They probably have a friend who’ll help them out.

The more people around, the easier it becomes to do nothing.

So why does this happen? From a psychological perspective, this hesitation is partly about risk. We fear embarrassment, judgement, or making the situation worse. Since we know there’s others who can help as well, we decide not to take that risk.

Islam encourages us to fight this urge and learn to act. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:

God understands human fear, hesitation, and limits. But He encourages us to push through these feelings, and not hide behind the crowd.

Because remember, silence is a decision as well. When we stay quiet in the face of something wrong, we may not be causing harm directly—but we are allowing it space to grow.

The Prophet (peace be upon him) described three ways we can respond when we see something wrong: first, by trying to change it with our actions. If we’re not able to, then by speaking up. And if even that feels too hard or unsafe, then at the very least, we should feel something in our hearts.

That last part—the heart—is easy to dismiss. It feels so quiet, so invisible. What difference does it even make?

But that discomfort in your heart, that tug that tells you this isn’t right… it’s incredibly important. It means your sense of right and wrong is still alive. It means you haven’t become numb.

And in a world where there’s so much injustice and corruption around us, what do unjust people want? They want you to forget your values. To stop caring. To stay silent. 

Of course, it’s a difficult world. Things are tense right now. There’s a lot of hopelessness about things. Some people are too extreme in their actions, and they’re not willing to change.

Maybe you won't always be able to step in. Maybe you won’t always have the perfect words. But what matters is that you don’t switch off. Don’t let yourself get used to looking away.

Don’t be part of that silence.